What Are You Carrying?
There are things we carry for years without ever asking ourselves why. Some of them fit neatly into boxes.
Old photographs. Letters. Clothes we haven’t worn in years. A piece of fabric we were saving for something, but some things we carry don’t take up any physical space at all.
We carry expectations. Old disappointments. Things people said to us. Things we said to ourselves. Roles we learned to play so well that we sometimes forget we could put them down. Then, there are the things we carry because they matter. Memories. Traditions. Skills. Stories. People we have loved. Parts of ourselves we don’t want to lose. So maybe the question isn’t simply:
What should I let go of?
There is another question worth asking.
What deserves to come with me?
What We Carry And Keep
The things we keep have always fascinated me. Sometimes we keep something because it is useful. Sometimes because it is beautiful. And sometimes we keep something because it reminds us of who we were. There may be a dress in your closet that you haven’t worn in twenty years.
A recipe written in someone’s handwriting. Photographs whose edges have softened with time. Buttons saved from a garment that no longer exists, or a child’s drawing. A letter. A piece of fabric. None of these things may have much practical value, but they can have enormous meaning.
I don’t think we should be so quick to dismiss the things that have meaning simply because they aren’t useful in the conventional sense. Some things are worth keeping because they tell us where we have been. But there is something else worth considering.
Are we keeping the memory—or are we keeping ourselves in the memory?
There is a difference.
What We Carry
We can carry a great deal without realizing it. We can carry the expectation that we should always be productive. The belief that we should have figured everything out by now.
The need to make everyone happy. The habit of explaining ourselves. An old definition of success. An old disappointment. Sometimes we carry someone else’s idea of who we should be long after that person has stopped having any actual place in our lives.
And maybe the strangest thing about some of these burdens is that they can become so familiar that we stop noticing them. We don’t wake up every morning and say, “I’m going to carry this old expectation today. We simply pick it up. Again. And again. And again.
The things we never question, and continue to carry
There are things we deliberately choose to carry, and then there are things we have simply never questioned. A belief, habit, or responsibility. It could be a way of thinking, or a definition of what a “good life” is supposed to look like.
Maybe we inherited it; learned it when we were young, or maybe everyone around us was doing the same thing. And so we assumed:
This must be mine. But not everything we inherit is meant to be carried forever. Sometimes we need to look at something we have carried for years and ask:
Do I still believe this? Does this still serve me? Is this still mine?
Not because everything old is bad. Not because everything new is better, but because our lives change. We become new versions of ourselves, and when our lives change, sometimes our answers need to change with them.
Not everything needs to be thrown away
This is where I think making things has taught me something. When I find an old piece of fabric, I don’t automatically see it as something useless. I see possibility. Maybe it can become something else.
Maybe I need to mend it, cut it, or I can combine it with another piece of fabric. Or it has served its purpose, and it is finally time to let it go.
Life can be like that, too. Not everything needs to be discarded.
Some things need to be transformed. Some things need to be repaired. Others need to be understood differently, and some things really do need to be put to rest. The wisdom comes in knowing the difference.
What Deserves to Come with Us?
So I’ve been thinking about three questions.
Not questions that I can answer for you.
Questions that maybe you can answer for yourself.
What am I carrying because it still matters to me?
Maybe it is a tradition. A friendship, a skill, a memory. Who knows, it may be a dream that still has life in it. Something your hands know how to do. Something your heart still wants to make.
Ask yourself:
What am I carrying because I am afraid to let it go?
That one may take a little longer.
Because sometimes we hold on to things not because they are good for us, but because they are familiar.
And finally:
What am I carrying simply because I have never stopped to question it?
That question can open a door.
Because we don’t have to keep carrying something simply because we have carried it for a long time.
A different way of looking at letting go
I’ve never believed that creating a meaningful life requires us to erase the past. The past belongs to us. It taught us and shaped us. It gave us stories, skills, and scars.
Sometimes it gave us beautiful things we would never want to lose. But: Carrying our history doesn’t mean carrying everything from our history.
We can remember without returning. Appreciate without keeping, forgive without reopening the door.
We can honour who we were without remaining who we were, and most importantly—we can take what is valuable with us.
Maybe that’s what growing—and simply living—asks of us.
Not to become someone entirely new, but to become more discerning about what we carry. What stays or changes? What gets mended or transformed, and what we finally put down.
So sometime this week, perhaps find one small thing.
A drawer, a box, a shelf, a thought, or a belief, and before you decide what to do with it, pause. Ask yourself:
Is this something I want to carry into the next season of my life?
If the answer is yes—carry it consciously.
If the answer is no—maybe you can put it down.
And if you aren’t sure—you don’t have to decide today.
Some things need time.
We don’t have to empty our lives of everything that came before.
We simply get to decide what deserves to come with us, giving you a choice to create a life you love with what you have.
What are you carrying into your next season?
And what might you finally be ready to put down?
We don’t have to empty our lives of everything that came before. We simply get to decide what deserves to come with us.