I Don’t Need to Justify my Growth
Quietly becoming yourself is a journey; dare I say a delightful one.
There is something I’ve been thinking about lately. Have you ever changed your mind about something…
and realized you didn’t owe anybody an explanation?
When we’re younger, we somehow gathered that growth needed witnesses. That change needed a caption, a conversation, a moment of proof. Back then. I said to anyone who would listen: I’ve decided this, or I’m going to do that. I’m unlearning that now.
Sometimes we need to say those things because we’re trying to convince ourselves as much as anyone else, but I think there comes a time when something changes. Quietly.
You make a decision, and you don’t tell anybody. You simply begin living differently, and somehow, that feels different from making an announcement.
There’s No Need to Explain: Quietly Becoming Yourself
Maybe it’s because you aren’t asking anyone to witness the change. You’re not asking for applause, or asking anyone to understand. You’re just becoming.
I’ve always found it interesting that some of the biggest changes in our lives can look very small from the outside.
You stop answering every phone call, stop explaining yourself, and you don’t go somewhere simply because everyone expects you to be there.
You begin making time for something you’ve always wanted to do, and you finally say no. Or maybe you say yes—to yourself. Nobody necessarily sees any of this as a transformation, but you know.
You know because you can feel that something inside you has shifted. No one claps for the seed underground. It grows anyway. Maybe that’s what quiet growth is. Not becoming a completely different person. It’s becoming more honest about the person you’ve been all along.
There are things we learn about ourselves over time. Things we couldn’t have known at twenty. We couldn’t have understood it even at thirty.
Sometimes we discover that the life we were working so hard to build isn’t actually the life we want anymore.
That can be uncomfortable, because other people may still know us by the person they remember us to be. They recall what we used to tolerate or do, and it may surprise them that we no longer want those things. Here’s the interesting part, though:
Do we actually have to convince them?
I don’t think every decision needs a committee, or that every change needs an explanation. I certainly don’t think every transformation needs an audience. Some things can simply belong to us.
A private decision can be a very powerful thing. You can quietly decide:
You are Becoming Yourself: Make Your Decisions Quietly
I’m going to take better care of my time, make room for my creativity again, or stop chasing something that no longer feels right.
I’m going to learn something new, and I’m going to finish something I began years ago.
And then… you do it. No speech. No announcement. Just action. That’s one of the freedoms of getting older. We become less interested in convincing people. At least, I hope we do.
There is something wonderfully peaceful about being able to say:
This is what I’ve decided, and leave it there. You don’t have to build a case, or produce evidence. You don’t have to make everyone understand why. Your life will eventually provide the explanation, your actions will say what your words don’t need to say.
This is something worth remembering when we’re in the middle of becoming, because becoming can feel uncertain.
There may be a period when you don’t quite recognize yourself—yet. You’re leaving one version of yourself behind, but you haven’t quite settled into the next one. That’s okay.
You don’t have to name it immediately, or have to have the perfect plan. You can simply keep moving. Quietly.
Make one decision at a time; set a boundary. One morning when you choose differently, or an afternoon when you pick up the thing you’ve been putting off. One evening when you realize you didn’t spend your energy trying to make somebody else comfortable. And little by little…
there you are.
The Question
The question today isn’t: Who am I becoming? It’s a little simpler.
What transformation am I ready to make without seeking approval?
Not by announcing or defending it. Nor are you waiting for somebody to tell you that it’s a good idea. You are just making the decision, and beginning, because you don’t need permission to become.
And you don’t need to justify your growth. Sometimes you can simply let your life speak.
I don’t need to justify my transformation.
Nor do I permitted to grow quietly.
I have the right to make private decisions.
And I am entitled to become someone new without asking everyone to understand.
Maybe today, we don’t need to announce anything, or there is simply one small decision we can make—Quietly.
Let it become part of the life we’re building—Without announcement.